American dating an indian man
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When I decided to marry a Frenchman, my family’s concern was the normal one that parents have about whether their children have made the right decision; my partner’s nationality played only a minor role.So when a neighbour took it upon herself to tell my mother that I was being an irresponsible daughter by marrying outside my “caste” and moving abroad, it upset me at many levels.
And a mixed-race couple in which one person is black often brings out the worst kind of racism.As a single, hetereosexual woman, its only natural that I spend some time observing the opposite sex as I go through my travels.Whilst I am not looking for a long-term relationship per se, I do enjoy the company of men (platonic and romantic) and it would be nice to make some friends in my new homeland.“I found it out of place since he was talking about Akbar having a good time with many women.” Mixed-race couples often have to deal with scepticism about their relationship masquerading as concern about cultural differences.When Aarya decided to tie the knot with Nicholas in 2010, she often got lectured about the sanctity of marriage and how it should be preserved.Then the other woman, who had remained silent until then, asked me for proof. When many Indians see one of their women with a man of a different race, they make assumptions, and offer unsolicited advice.
An Indian woman who has got a white man must be enlightened, even by complete strangers.
Ketki Pradhan, a French teacher in Pondicherry, told me about the time she was holding her German boyfriend’s hand when a group of men started making vulgar gestures.
“One of them grabbed my other hand and held it very tightly for a few seconds, and ran away,” Pradhan recalled.
One day when walking on a street in Pune, Neha’s hometown, a biker slowed down near the couple and almost hit her. She said she sensed a mix of repressed fury and lust in the man’s tone, when he hissed back: “I will f*** you.” To many Indians, the idea of a mixed-race couple is alien, repulsive even.
Nicholas Chevaillier, my friend Aarya’s French-American husband, has been asked more than once in India where and how he “picked up” the woman he was with.
By the fourth day of our vacation on the islands, we had got used to being stared at.